Motivating a Teenager: 15 Steps That Work!

There is often the belief that teens are lazy, unmotivated, and generally want nothing to do with their parents. While there are situations where this is the case, generally with an underlying issue, it doesn’t need to be something that parents simply accept.

Is your teen unmotivated in several aspects of his life? If you find that you meet a lot of resistance from your teen, there are a few things that you can try out. Our list of 15 steps for motivating a teenager just may be the solution to help you, your teen, and your family as a whole.

How do You Motivate an Unmotivated Teenager?

Your teenager's lack of motivation might be where he’s comfortable. He’s got no interest in cleaning his bedroom, helping with household chores, excelling at school, or generally finding a way to be and live a more positive life. Here are our best 15 tips to motivate your teen:

• 1. Establish trust with your teen. It may seem like trust should come naturally between you and your teen, but he may need to relearn how he can trust you if he’s struggling or needs help with one or more areas of his life. Working on your relationship with your teen is the first step you should take whenever you’re struggling.
• 2. Focus less on the outcome than on the effort. Teens can become overwhelmed by thinking of the outcome. Sure, he needs to get good grades, but he also needs to understand that effort and the journey are also important.
• 3. Your teen is rapidly approaching adulthood, which does make him want more autonomy from parents and other authority figures. Be sure you respect this when you approach him while softly reminding him that even adults must follow the rules and respect boundaries.
• 4. Keep communication open, honest, and accessible. Your teen may not yet be willing to speak to you about some of his struggles, but you can strike up conversations about family vacations, shopping, or favorite shows. In time, he may feel comfortable opening up further.
• 5. Be interested in his passions and other things he enjoys. Perhaps video games, music, or sports. This will also help build trust and communication with your teen.
• 6. Be the example your teen needs. Your teen will look to you for guidance in behaving and acting. Show your own motivation so he may follow suit.
• 7. Avoid negative speech and offer a focus on positivity. Your teen needs to hear positivity if he is to break from unmotivated patterns.
• 8. Don’t compare your teen to his siblings, cousins, friends, or anyone else.
• 9. Encourage and promote healthy habits that keep him feeling the best—getting good sleep, eating a healthy diet, and getting lots of time outside with family and friends.
• 10. Reevaluate boundaries and consequences. Teens aren’t always motivated by consequences or by rewards either. They may offer immediate motivation for a teen who wants something but rarely works for long-term motivation.
• 11. Don’t bail your teen out of every problem they encounter. Making mistakes is a part of the learning experience of being a teen. It could be as simple as not doing their laundry for them until they run out of clean clothes to wear. The consequences of having nothing clean to wear may motivate your teen to do his laundry in a timelier manner.
• 12. Make sure your teen has the tools he needs to succeed. This could include planners, calendars, and other tools to help him juggle everything he needs to manage.
• 13. If your teen is faced with what he thinks are impossible projects, help him to learn how he can break them down into manageable tasks. Lists and tackling things one small step at a time can give him the motivation he needs.
• 14. Skip the lectures. Your teen doesn’t need lectures or nagging. He needs real-life solutions he can adapt to the challenges that he’s facing.
• 15. Be sure you maintain a good routine and solid structure at home. If your teen knows what to expect, he’ll be less likely to wander from his tasks.

It can take some time to find the right mix of things to motivate your teen, so don’t be afraid to speak with him to find out what’s working and what they’d like to work on.

How do I encourage my teenager to be positive?

Does your teen seem like he’s constantly negative and focusing on the negatives in every situation? While some negativity may be expected with angsty teens, something else may be at fault.

• Therapy is often an excellent place to start, as it can help your teen to work through the underlying situations he’s struggling with.
• Therapy can also help to determine whether your teen is struggling with depression. If he is, treating depression can help to adjust his negative view of his life.
• Encourage your teen to start a gratitude journal. In this journal, he should jot down just one thing he’s grateful for that day. It doesn’t need to be overly complicated and can be as simple as being thankful for Wi-Fi. Over time he’ll start to recognize more positive patterns in his life, which can help to shift his thinking.
• Take the time to have fun together as a family whether it’s family movie night, a walk around a nearby park, or a road trip adventure.

If your teen is constantly struggling with a lack of motivation and none of your efforts have been successful, your teen may benefit from a more intensive solution. At Liahona Academy, we help teens work through their struggles, allow them to learn valuable life and coping skills, and guide them to finding the motivation they need.