The teen years are a really unique period in our lives. Teenagers aren’t little kids anymore, but they aren’t adults yet either. They want independence, but they don’t actually know how to take care of themselves. On top of all of that, they are in the middle of physical changes that reshape their brain and flood their system with new hormones. It’s no wonder that teen behavior can change so much!
As your child reaches their teen years, you might notice that they suddenly start caring a lot more about what their friends think. Young children enjoy interacting with their friends, but they don’t seem to be overly influenced by their friends. They still want to show off for the adults in their life and get their approval.
Teenagers are a different ballgame. Teens seem to stop caring what their parents think and start caring a whole lot more about what their friends think. They might change their behavior to fit in with their friends and start acting differently as a result of peer pressure.
As a parent, this can be extremely frustrating. Even if you know to expect it, teenage peer influence is the bane of many parents’ existence. To help you cope with your teen’s changing behavior, it’s important to understand why teens are so influenced by their peers.
Teenage Brain changes
Adolescence brings a lot of physical changes. Some changes are visible while others remain unseen. One of the biggest behind-the-scenes changes occurs in the teenage brain.
The final part of the brain to completely develop is called the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is the part responsible for decision-making, planning ahead, problem-solving, consequence assessment, and self-control.
It’s not that this part of the brain didn’t exist before adolescence; it’s that it wasn’t fully complete. During the teens and early twenties, the prefrontal cortex undergoes some final changes. While those changes take place, teens tend to make irrational decisions, overestimate fun, and underestimate the danger. This is one of the biggest reasons that teens are prone to risky behavior.
Why do teens care what their friends think?
While this change in brain maturation occurs, teens also experience a shift in their social focus. When kids are little, they don’t tend to focus on what others think of them. They want the approval of their parents and other older people (i.e. teachers, older siblings, grandparents, etc.), but they don’t worry much about what their friends think of them.
This changes during adolescence. Teenagers experience a shift in decision-making that focuses less on what their parents think and more on what their peers think. Teens are still figuring out how life works, and they want the input of other people their own age – even if those people also don’t really know how life works.
Teens don’t have a ton of life experience to go on, so they are still learning all the time. They want to be socially accepted and fit in with their peers, so they look to their peers for guidance. The adults don’t “fit in” anymore, and adults tend to be a little boring.
Other teens and social influencers seem much more cool and reliable, and they seem to understand how the world works. At a time in life when kids want independence and freedom but their brain makes them behave irrationally, it makes total sense why teens are so influenced by peers.
Is teenage peer influence bad?
Teenage peer influence is going to happen, but it’s not always bad. If your kid gets in with the right crowd, peer influence could help them care more about their grades, their personal hygiene, or their social responsibilities. It’s important for kids to have friends, and it’s extremely helpful if those friends have a positive influence.
Peer influence is only a bad thing if your teen is being coaxed to do things that will get them into trouble or if your teen seems to stop thinking for themself. Some teens lose sight of their own values and just follow along with the crowd. Even if your teen is following along with positive peer influence, it’s important for them to develop a sense of self.
If you are worried that your teenager is being negatively influenced by their peers or that they are easily swayed by others, contact us for more information about teen peer pressure.
