We know that the teenage years can come with plenty of mood swings, but as parents, is there anything that we can do to help our teens level out?
The short answer: sort of.
Yes, there are things that you can do as a parent to help your troubled teen make it through their mood swings, but you shouldn’t expect it to be a walk in the park. Unfortunately, there’s no magic wand you can wave that will make their mood swings disappear overnight. With the onset of puberty comes an avalanche of hormones that sends their moods careening. You can expect these years to be tricky.
The additional hormones can lead to acne, growth spurts, and teen crushes. On top of all the usual stuff, boys and girls get their boost of hormones that can make things extra difficult. Girls start to develop breasts, start their period and might have problems with PMS. Boys grow at a rapid pace, experience increased romantic feelings, and go through a voice change. For both genders, new hormones can create noticeable mood swings.
Though the teen years can be extra difficult regarding mood swings, your child needs to learn how to deal with changing hormones before they reach adulthood. Hormones associated with stress, sleep cycles, and menstrual cycles will still play a role in their moods even as adults. Though hormonal changes tend to calm down during the adult years, they’re still present.
How to help your teenager control their hormones
Since your troubled teen will be dealing with hormonal fluctuations throughout their life, they must learn how to control their hormones as early as possible. When they can’t control the actual hormones, they need to know how to manage their response to the hormones.Talk to your troubled teen
Before even starting down the path to controlling their hormones, your troubled teen needs to know what’s going on in their body. Many teens and tweens reach puberty with no idea of what to expect. Then they’re blindsided by a wave of hormones that (literally) changes them. Talk to your child about puberty and what to expect as they go through adolescence.Notice the changes
Step one to controlling their hormones, and their reaction to them, is to notice the changes as they occur. While your troubled teen is in the midst of a mood swing, they might not even notice what’s going on. You probably see it because their behavior has changed so drastically, but they might not. Just like the proverbial frog in boiling water, they don’t notice what’s happening because they’re so immersed in it.Open communication
Teens are renowned for withdrawing and shutting down when they get moody. Ensure your teen knows that they can still talk to you even when they’re having a bad day. Don’t expect them to always come to you easily. You may have to coax them and remind them that they can talk about their feelings and that you support them. Encourage your troubled teen to talk about what’s going on so you can help them navigate hormonal changes.Encourage healthy living
High school these days is tough! Teens are often sleep-deprived and stressed out when they go to school in the morning. By the time they get home in the afternoon, they’re even more tired and stressed. Learning to control their hormones is learning to live a healthy lifestyle that encourages a healthy hormone cycle. Help them create a routine that allows them to sleep enough, eat healthy, and exercise. Developing these habits during their teen years will help them as they progress into adulthood.Support positive activities
Positively managing mood swings includes participating in positive activities. Even as adults, it’s important that we have healthy outlets to relieve stress. Teens need to have access to positive outlets that let them blow off some steam and develop healthy friendships. This could include things like sports, after-school programs, youth groups, or clubs. If your troubled teen finds an activity that lets them have positive fun with their peers, support them in pursuing it.Managing your emotions while dealing with your hormonal teen
Helping your troubled teen learn to navigate their new hormonal changes can be extremely frustrating. As they’re going through all of their new changes and mood swings, you’re there to deal with it. This means that you will likely take the brunt of some angry outbursts and teen angst. Here are a few tips for managing your own emotions while dealing with your hormonal teen:- Remember that it’s not about you. This is easier said than done. When your troubled teen lashes out, you do need to address it. Don’t take it too personally. Remember that your teen is dealing with new hormones that they don’t know how to manage yet, and they won’t be good at managing them initially.
- Check your feelings. Chances are, dealing with a hormonal teenager will affect your mood as well. Before addressing their behavior, notice your feelings and get them in check. It won’t benefit either of you if you lash out in anger. Make sure that you’ve got your own emotions in check before having difficult conversations with your teen.
- Notice your hormonal changes. Remember that teens aren’t the only ones who experience mood swings based on hormonal changes. Hormones can sway both men and women even in adulthood. Keep an eye on your moods before you address your teen about their moods.
- Allow downtime. Both you and your teen might need some time apart from each other after a difficult confrontation. Allow downtime where you both can cool off before discussing the issue at hand. If either of you come to a hard conversation with your emotions on edge, the conversation won’t go as well as it could.
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