When kids reach the teen years, their self-confidence can take a hit. Puberty changes their bodies. Their hormones are raging. And their friend groups often shift. Amidst all of the changes, teens can start to question themselves and start following the crowd to fit in.
During this time, it’s important for parents to help their teens find independence. Teens who have the self-confidence to think for themselves are more capable of making positive choices, avoiding negative peer pressure, and staying on track with their goals.
How to help your teen find independence
As a parent, there are several things that you can do to help your teen develop self-confidence and exert independence. Your teen needs to be able to make choices for themself and stand up to peer pressure. As they become adults, teens need to know how to sort through all of the options that life tosses at them to choose the right path.
Encourage new activities
A lot of teens are hesitant to try new activities. They don’t want to risk failure, and it’s easier to forgo trying something new than to actually try it and fail. Encourage your teen to try new activities. It might be a little scary at first, but they’ll never learn what they truly like and dislike without trying.
Failure is hard and so is a commitment to excellence. Teenagers need to learn how to fail at something new, decide which activities deserve attention, and accept when something is unmanageable. These are hard skills to learn, but they lead to independence. Teens who find independence end up with more opportunities as they enter adulthood because they have the confidence to make their own path.
Focus on their effort
When teens are in school, a lot of attention is put on their performance. Teachers focus on their student’s grades. Coaches focus on their athletes’ performance during competition. Other kids focus on their peers’ appearance and social status.
As a parent, it’s easy to focus on helping your teen manage their day-to-day life. You want them to get good grades, have friends, and get their chores done at home. When all of the attention is on their performance, teens can develop low self-esteem. This is especially true if they struggle with schoolwork, have trouble making friends, or have any sort of mental health troubles. In those cases, it’s especially important for parents to notice their teen’s effort and praise it.
Use positive self-talk
Teens have a tendency to get down on themselves when they do something wrong. Even if it’s something as simple as making a bad grade on a test or saying something silly around their friends, teens can internalize the event and start speaking badly of themselves.
If you hear your teen saying negative things about themselves, correct them. Your teen needs to understand their self-worth. Everyone makes mistakes, and it doesn’t make you a bad person to make a mistake. Encourage your teenager to recognize that negative self-talk is often incorrect and to use positive self-talk.
Final thoughts
It’s important for teens to develop self-confidence and find independence as they grow up. The high school years are a great training ground to prepare for adulthood. Teenagers who find independence in high school are more prepared to go for their goals even if the road is challenging.
Teens who have mental health issues like ADD, ADHD, depression, or anxiety often find themselves struggling with self-confidence. Life is not easy for them, and they tend to have a hard time with things that other kids find to be easy. This can be detrimental to their self-esteem, and that makes it hard for them to become independent.
If your teen is having a hard time developing independence due to mental health issues, seek outside help. Teens often see success when they receive therapeutic treatment either from a local therapist or at a therapeutic treatment center. Contact us today for more information about teen treatment options.
