Outbursts, mood swings, and testing behavior are common when raising teens. However, these factors all change a bit when you are dealing with a teenager! While it’s typical for a teen coming into their own to want to develop a sense of self, there comes a line where this behavior can cross over into narcissism. In essence, your teen might be very self-absorbed and not react well to being criticized (even in a positive manner). Narcissistic teens may also display anger, jealousy, and need to have positive or uplifting comments thrown their way more often than not - or you end up with a child that can become violent to themselves or others.
Let’s face it - a large majority of teenagers will think of nothing but themselves for a good part of their adolescent years. This is just a part of growing up and should fade with time. However, the mindset of thinking the earth revolves around them is a dangerous one if it continues into adulthood, and can wreak havoc in multiple realms of life - and can even lead to your teen hurting others. A violent, narcissistic teen will be a challenge, but even more so if the negative behaviors and outlook continue into the future.
Tips for Handling Narcissistic Behavior
Thankfully, this type of teen behavior can typically be caught from the get-go when you realize that your teen is displaying traits of self-centeredness. Let’s review a few different ways that you can hopefully make an impact on your teen while setting them up for success! Set clear boundaries with your teen: teens who are narcissistic tend to run life on their own schedule; they do things when they feel like they should do them. As a teen, having boundaries is crucial to thriving in a healthy and balanced environment.- Have concise rules: whatever rules you decide upon for your home and your teenager, make sure that you enforce them. Teens who have narcissistic tendencies usually think that they are above a concept, such as following rules. If you want your teen to be home by 10 pm on weeknights, enforce it. If they find ways to disobey, ensure that the consequences you lay down (for the days they are late) are ones that you can follow through with.
- Offer choices: if a teen is displaying narcissistic tendencies, they aren’t going to feel like they should be doing tasks like washing dishes or vacuuming the car. However, these are basic daily chores that need to be completed (even into adulthood), so fostering a sense of responsibility and asking your teen which task they would prefer to do can be helpful. Is taking the dog for a walk what you’d like to do at the moment, or mopping the kitchen floor? Options can go a long way in helping your teen get work done while working together as a team.
- Focus on building empathy: when it comes to being able to feel how others would feel in a specific situation, we as parents have to redirect our focus to others. Asking your teen about how they would feel if they left out an invitation to a classmate for an upcoming birthday party or how their boss would feel knowing they called in sick at the last minute brings the focus away from your teen and onto other people for a moment. This can help your teen take into consideration the feelings of others over time.
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