When children become teens, they often find it challenging to discuss their values and needs with friends, dating partners, and adults they meet in their everyday life. Even when their instincts tell them someone is trying to take advantage of them, they often struggle to accept that the situation makes them uncomfortable.
While boundaries are different for everyone, they help teens set limits with other people to protect themselves from being manipulated or abused. When boundaries are set, they allow teens to communicate clearly what is OK and what is not OK with them.
But before we discuss techniques and skills to establish boundaries for your teen, let's first understand the meaning and importance of setting boundaries as a teen.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are limits that people, especially children, and teens, need to establish to protect themselves from being manipulated, hurt, or taken advantage of. Boundaries let other people understand who you are, what you stand for, your values, and how they want to be treated. In a platonic or romantic relationship, healthy boundaries must be established to communicate clearly about those feelings and limits.For example, when teens set boundaries about how they feel about parties and social gatherings, they might say, "I feel uncomfortable going to late-night parties but am cool having dinner."
Why boundaries are important for teens
Setting boundaries for teens is an integral part of their growth and development. It's essential to developing supportive, respectful, and healthy friendships and relationships.Unfortunately, setting boundaries is more challenging than it sounds. It forces young adults and teens to stand up for themselves and create lines in the sand. This will help keep them safe and protect their mental and physical health.
7 Simple Ways to Teach Boundaries
Teach your teens to trust their intuition
It is imperative to let your teen know and understand that they can trust their gut. If they feel that something is wrong or weird about a situation, then they have the right to speak up. They shouldn't be made to feel that they're being overly sensitive or dramatic.The idea is that they need to be true to who they are and not what other people think, even if it's a teacher.
Help your teen understand how they feel
Identifying and labeling different types of feelings is more challenging than it sounds. It takes time and patience for a teen to stop and think about how they feel in a given situation. They may notice that they feel angry, but are they sad or frustrated too?Recognizing how they feel at any given moment is the first step in setting boundaries.
Help them recognize unacceptable behavior
You need to remind your teen that everyone has the right to be treated with kindness, and if they feel someone is not treating them well, then they need to set some limits with that person. They compromise their self-worth when they accept the unacceptable from others.They should know this extends to adults like coaches, teachers, clergy, and family members.
Discuss the importance of digital boundaries
Most relationships we have today have a digital component in place. You must ensure your teen understands digital etiquette, dating abuse, and sexting. This will enable them to stay safe online and place boundaries on whoever is violating their values.Give them key phrases they can use to diffuse any situation
Key phrases such as "Let me think about it and get back to you," "No! I'm not going with you", and "Let me talk to my parents first; I will get back to you tomorrow" can come in handy in situations where they feel under pressure from friends, partners, and even family members.Make them understand that friendships and relationships have limits
Being in a relationship or friendship with someone doesn't mean your answer should always be "yes" on every issue. The difference in perspective and opinion is what makes relationships and friendships interesting.Model good boundary-setting skills
It would be best if you modeled the behavior you want to see in your teen by establishing boundaries with other people.Examples of healthy boundaries
1. Communicating the desire to move slowly in a relationship.
2. Telling a friend they are not comfortable with drinking or smoking.
3. Making friends understand where you stand on borrowing and lending money.
Examples of unhealthy boundaries
1. Being overly trusting of all people.
2. Giving in to the demands of friends and partners when you feel uncomfortable.
3. Believing others should know what you are thinking or feeling because you are afraid to speak up.
Conclusion
Teens need to understand their self-worth by knowing who they are, what they value, and how they want to be treated. The best way to make them understand all these is by showing them how to establish boundaries with people.Suppose your teen is experiencing issues with understanding boundaries and is getting in trouble or being bullied. In that case, it may be time for you to think about a therapeutic boarding school to help your teen build confidence, learn boundaries, and get the support he needs to thrive.
Contact Liahona Academy today to see how we can help.
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