Being a single parent is a difficult journey with many obstacles to overcome, especially as your children get older. And while it’s great for the budget when you don’t need to worry about childcare costs, how can you ensure your teen is following the rules when they’re home alone? The fact is that most jobs don’t afford the flexibility to call or text to check in until you get home. Plus, in most instances, you’re knee-deep in completing tasks, meetings, and answering emails, which means all your focus needs to be on work, not what your teen is doing at home.
Things take another turn when your teen exhibits negative behaviors. The challenge of balancing work, their behaviors, and your own well-being can often be too much to handle. Before things come to a head, it’s important for parents to set appropriate limits for their teens. However, if behaviors continue even after limits are set, it’s crucial to ask for additional help. The good news is that our team at Liahona Academy offers support when single parents need it most, providing a therapeutic program that helps teens get back on track. We also support the parents of our teens, helping them realize they’re not on their own.
Exploring the Challenges Single Parents Face
The teenage years are a time of big changes and growth, with defiance, trying new things, and strong emotions. When teens act out, whether it’s through rebelling, abusing drugs, or having trouble in school, single parents often feel torn between their roles as caregivers and breadwinners. As mentioned, one of the hardest things for single parents in this situation is trying to balance work and parenting all the time. Since many single parents are the only ones who can support their families, they need to keep a steady job to keep their finances in order. However, parents who miss work to meet with teachers or counselors or to handle disciplinary issues could lose their jobs and their ability to pay their bills. In addition, dealing with your teens negative behaviors while also having to do work can be very hard on your emotions. Like most parents who are raising a child by themselves, you may feel guilty and inadequate, wondering if you are doing enough to help your child. You may also feel alone because you don't have the support and partnership that two-parent homes usually offer. Additionally, dealing with issues at work and home can be exhausting, which can make it harder for single parents to deal with their teen's behavior problems in a healthy way. These feelings, mixed with your long list of responsibilities at home and work, lead to the situation mentioned above—things simply become too much to handle. Finally, single parents of troubled teens might also find it difficult to get their child the help they need, either due to a lack of resources or money, which only increases feelings of guilt and frustration. Understanding these challenges is only half the battle. The rest—and equally as important—is learning how to set appropriate limits to curb negative behavior and knowing where to turn if those limits aren’t enough.Setting Appropriate Limits
Setting and maintaining limits is crucial to encouraging good behavior and teaching teens self-discipline. Without them, they will often push boundaries and end up in trouble. But how do single parents set and maintain limits when they’re at work? Not only that, but how can you create those boundaries and still maintain a close relationship with your teen? Consider the following when caught in this situation:- Communication Is Key: Encourage your teen to communicate freely with you. Try to talk about expectations, guidelines, and penalties on a regular basis. Encourage them to communicate their ideas and emotions, and pay attention to their concerns.
- Establish Clear Expectations: Make sure your teen knows what you expect from them in terms of behavior, academic performance, and household duties. In addition, ensure they know the logic behind the rules rather then simply setting them with no conversation attached.
- Utilize Technology to Stay in Touch: As mentioned above, checking in using technology might not be an option, depending on where you work. However, if it is possible, you can use technology as a means of maintaining contact with your adolescent even when you aren't in their physical presence. Social media, video calls, and messaging apps allow you to stay in touch with your adolescent throughout the day, ensuring they are making appropriate choices and providing you with much-needed peace of mind.
- Prioritize Quality over Quantity: As a single parent, it’s important to take advantage of the time you have with your teen by doing meaningful things like bonding activities, family dinners, and outings.
- Flexibility and Adaptability: Be open to changing your parenting techniques to fit your particular set of circumstances. Realize that, depending on your teen's needs and developmental stage, you might occasionally need to modify your approach.
- Set a Good Example: Set a good example for your teen by acting responsibly and having strong problem-solving techniques. Teach them how to resolve disputes and obstacles amicably, and inspire them to follow your lead.
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