At Liahona Academy, we hear from many parents who don’t quite know how to help their teen return to life after boarding school. We offer counseling to our students and their families to help them understand how to navigate this tricky time. We are writing on this topic today to help parents and teens understand some things they can do to make the transition home a little easier.
Returning home from boarding school comes with a mix of emotions. Teens about to come home typically feel excited about returning to their regular life, but they’re also a little nervous about what it might be like. They’ve been away from home for a while, working on their mental health and developing some new life skills. Now it’s time to go back home and put it all to the test.
Hopefully, your teen has gotten to talk it through with their counselor beforehand, and you may have even had some family therapy sessions to ease the transition. Returning home will still be a little awkward and can come with many emotions, but it will be OK. Knowing how to help your teen return to life after boarding school will make the transition much more manageable.
What do teens face when they come home from boarding school?
Teens coming home from boarding school face the same issues as their peers, plus more. They still want to fit in at school and have friends. They still want to get along with their family without fighting or getting in trouble all the time. They still want to have more independence and get to branch out more.
They haven’t interacted much with the family lately, and their previous interactions might not have been good. Along with all of that, they also haven’t been at school with their peers in a while. They might want more independence, but they need to earn it first.
As you might imagine, going from life at boarding school to life at home comes with an adjustment period. It’s remarkably common for teens to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated when they first return home. People at school, or other family members, might bombard them with questions they don’t want to answer.
With so much pressure and so many awkward interactions from every angle, teens become more emotional than usual. You might notice they want more time alone or seem irritable, anxious, or tearful. Those are all common experiences. Fortunately, there are a few things that you can do to help your teen return to life after boarding school as smoothly as possible.
Tips for helping your teen return to life after boarding school
Help them set a schedule. Life at boarding school is typically very regimented. They follow a distinct schedule and learn to rely on it for stability. When they return home, life can feel chaotic. Help them set a plan that works for them and sets them up for success at home, school, and in extracurricular activities.
Create a code for needing alone time. Your teen will likely need more alone time to process their emotions when returning home from boarding school. Life can be pretty overwhelming, and they might not be able to handle it all at first.
This applies both at home and in social situations. Create a code with your teen, so they can express when they’re starting to feel overwhelmed and need some alone time. This will make it easier to create space at home when needed and for you to step in during overwhelming social situations.
Teach them to set boundaries. Social situations can be especially tough for teens returning home from boarding school. You won’t always be around to swoop in during social situations and monitor the status.
Your teen needs to know how to set boundaries when others ask too many questions or get overwhelmed. Make it clear that they should still be respectful, but they are allowed to say that they don’t want to talk.
Set clear rules and boundaries. Your teen needs to know exactly what is expected of them. They need to know and understand the house's rules and the consequences of following or breaking those rules. Have conversations as a family about the household rules so that everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect of one another. The more you can get the whole family on the same page during the transition home from boarding school, the easier it will be.
