Is your teen displaying self-harming behaviors? If you have a teen cutting, you likely feel a range of conflicting emotions. You may be angry, confused, frustrated, worried, and maybe even a little bit helpless. All of these feelings are normal in a completely challenging situation. It’s one thing to be aware of this teen behavior because of portrayals on television and in the movies. It’s something entirely different when you’re faced with your own teen struggling and harming himself. In these moments, it’s crucial to validate and understand your child's experience, showing empathy and support as you navigate this together.
Understanding a bit more about this teen behavior and the steps to follow can allow you to help your teen. Focus on your teen’s overall well-being and mental health, making these priorities as you support them through this difficult time.
What Leads a Teen to Self-Harm?
Even if you have personal experience with self-harming behaviors, you may find yourself wondering what might be behind your teen taking these actions. It’s important to note that while a teen cutting is a form of non suicidal self injury and does not always point to suicidal ideation, it is still a serious cry for help that shouldn’t be ignored. Kids and teens who self-injure may face increased risks for developing thoughts of suicide, and are at a higher likelihood of attempting suicide.
Self-harm, also referred to as self-mutilation or non suicidal self injury, is what happens when someone deliberately hurts himself or herself without the intent to commit suicide. This behavior can begin in childhood or adolescence and may follow into adulthood without treatment. Teens may self-injure by cutting, burning, or otherwise causing physical pain to themselves as a way to cope with emotional distress.
There is often not one single cause of self-harm. What is typically seen in young people who cut or hurt themselves in other ways is that they are feeling overwhelming levels of emotional and mental pain. For some, teen depression, trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, or eating disorders may be a factor. Teens could also feel worthless and lonely, and for a child or teen self-esteem may also be an issue. Difficulties in relationships or a lack of supportive relationships can also contribute. They may also feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities at school or at home. Or they may also feel they need to be punished for something they think they’ve done wrong. It could be that your teen is being bullied and doesn’t know how to get help.
Self-harm is, quite often, a way for children, teens, and even adults to try and get a form of control back when they feel like the other parts of their lives are unmanageable and not within their control. For some, the act of self-harm provides physical pain that distracts from intense emotional pain, and may be a way for a teen to cope with overwhelming emotions. Having a supportive person in the teen's life can be crucial in uncovering underlying causes and providing the help they need.
Prevalence of Self-Injury
Self-injury, including cutting and other forms of self-harm, is more common among adolescents and young adults than many parents realize. Studies estimate that about 17% of teens will engage in self-injury at least once, with most starting between ages 12 and 14. This behavior often co-occurs with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and borderline personality disorder, making it a significant concern for adolescent mental health and overall child health. While cutting is one of the most recognized behaviors, other forms like burning, scratching, or self-hitting are also prevalent. Understanding how many teens are affected can help parents, educators, and mental health professionals recognize the scope of the issue and the importance of addressing underlying mental health conditions and health issues early on.
Signs of Cutting Some May Be Subtle
The most frequently seen signs of cutting will likely be visible damage to the body, such as fresh cuts or scars on your teen’s arms, legs, chest, or abdomen. These injuries often result from skin cutting, which typically involves a sharp object like a razor blade. Cuts may just break the skin or, in some cases, require medical attention and stitches. Other methods of self-harm can include inserting objects under the skin or head-banging, which can also leave noticeable marks or injuries.
It’s important to recognize the warning signs of self-harm, as early intervention can make a significant difference. Some of the more subtle signs of cutting could include the following:
- Depression, with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, sleep changes, and behavioral changes
- Wearing long sleeves or long pants even in the hottest parts of the summer or hot weather to hide scars
- Avoiding swimming or going outside
- Wearing more jewelry on the wrists to disguise wrist cuts and scars
- Anxiety, particularly if pushed to take off a jacket or wear shorts that may expose cuts and scars
Friends and family members can play a key role in recognizing these warning signs. Encourage friends to speak up if they notice concerning behaviors or physical evidence of self-harm.
You know your teen better than anyone else does. Any drastic changes in behavior or attitude should be seen as possible red flags, particularly when accompanied by several risk factors.
Connection to Suicidal Behavior
Although self-harm and self-injury are not always intended as suicide attempts, there is a strong connection between these behaviors and an increased risk of suicidal thoughts and actions. Research shows that more than half of adolescents who die by suicide have a history of self-injury. For many teens, self-harm is a way to cope with overwhelming emotional pain, but it can also lead to a dangerous cycle of self-destructive behavior. Mental health professionals stress the importance of assessing for suicidal behavior in any adolescent who self-injures, as the presence of self-harm can signal deeper emotional struggles and a higher risk for suicide. Providing timely support and intervention is crucial to help teens manage pain and emotional distress in safer, healthier ways.
Common Myths About Self-Harm
There are a few things parents should be aware of when it comes to common myths about self-harm behavior. Educating yourself is one of the best ways to ensure you’re in the best position to help your teen through this difficult stage. Here are some of the myths you may hear.
- Cutting is the only type of self-harm that parents need to be aware of. Cutting is one of the most commonly seen behaviors, but there are several other ways that children and teens harm themselves on purpose. Pulling out hair, skin scratching or picking, burns, and even attempts to break bones are other types of self-injury.
- There is a common misconception that those who self-harm are just seeking attention. In reality, self-injury is often a coping mechanism for dealing with overwhelming emotions or psychological distress, not simply a bid for attention. It's important not to dismiss self-harm as attention-seeking, but instead to recognize it as a sign that your teen may need support and possibly professional help.
- Self-harm behaviors are only done by girls. Boys are just as much at risk of self-harming as girls are.
- Speaking about self-harming may encourage your teen to try it. Teens who feel comfortable and have open communication may be in a better position to speak with parents about what they’re feeling.
Children and teens rarely grow out of self-harming behaviors. Getting treatment is an important part of helping them feel better in control.
Prevention Strategies
Preventing self-injury in teens requires a proactive and compassionate approach from parents, schools, and communities. Open communication is key—encourage your teen to talk about their feelings and let them know they can come to you without fear of judgment. Health education that teaches healthier ways to cope with emotional pain and stress can empower teens to make safer choices. Parents can support their children by modeling positive coping strategies, helping them identify triggers, and seeking guidance from a mental health provider when needed. Mental health professionals can work with families to develop personalized prevention plans, ensuring that teens have the support and resources they need to manage emotional pain and avoid self-injury.
Getting Your Teen the Help He Needs
Without the right type of help, teens who are cutting and engaging in other self-harm behaviors will continue to struggle. There are several options that parents could consider to help their teens.
For your teen, talk therapy may be a good place to start. Here, in a safe space, he may feel comfortable enough to open up about how he’s feeling and why he is cutting. Group therapy that includes peers who are facing the same struggles your teen is can also prove beneficial.
It is important to consult a doctor or pediatrician if your teen is self-harming. A doctor can assess the situation, help diagnose any underlying mental health issues, and work with you to develop an appropriate treatment or safety plan.
For some teens, depression has advanced to the point where more serious intervention is needed. Many teens who are cutting and engaging in other forms of self-harm benefit from inpatient solutions, like specialized residential treatment centers for troubled boys.
If your teen is struggling with his mental health and is showing signs of depression, anxiety, and self-harming behavior, Liahona Academy can help. Reach out to speak to one of our compassionate team members to determine the next steps to take.
Conclusion
Self-injury, including cutting and other forms of self-harm, remains a serious concern for adolescents and young adults. Understanding the prevalence of self-injury, its connection to mental health conditions, and the increased risk of suicidal behavior is essential for parents, educators, and mental health professionals. By promoting mental health awareness, providing education, and offering support, we can help teens find healthier ways to cope with emotional pain and stress. If you or someone you know is struggling with self-injury or mental health issues, reaching out to a mental health professional or organizations like the Trevor Project can make a significant difference. Remember, seeking help is a vital first step toward healing, recovery, and a healthier future for our teens.
